The Adventures and Survival Stories of a Mild Hypochondriac

The Adventures and Survival Stories of a Mild Hypochondriac

Caution: Feel free to read, but I suggest doing so with latex gloves, sterile goggles, and a bottle of Advil nearby.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

My Confirmed and Completely Legit Medical Ailments: A Compilation

So, to start off this blog about the inner quirks of life as a modern highschool-er, I decided it would be fitting to list all of the things medically wrong with me. (According to Webmd.com)

I am:
Pregnant (always the first suggested when I enter in my symptoms)
Broken (I have a broken collarbone, leg, cheekbone, and two fractured wrists.)

I have:
Restless Leg Syndrome,
Costochondritis,
Bone Cancer,
Heartburn,
Peripheral Neuropathy,
Osteomyelitis,
A Spinal Tumor,
and Several Chemical Burns.

Basically, my life looks like it's going pretty well. As a mild hypochondriac, I have Webmd.com bookmarked and it is my most frequently viewed site. Although I don't see a "real" doctor after every time I visit the page, the disease names linger in my brain for weeks. It is impossible to shake the near-death life that I am living. 

Now this all seems very exciting I'm sure... living on the edge and what not. False - it's a pretty tough job in the end. Balancing my medical fatalities with homework, softball, off-season training, watching six or seven weekly T.V. shows, and nightly StumbleUpon and WebMd sessions... the schedule gets pretty tight. I'll report back with some disease updates, but for now, I'm off to a hockey game. 

Hope I Live Until Tomorrow,

Carol

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